Coffee IS My Xanax

As I’ve mentioned, I’m fasting. Today is the 10th day of Ramadan. And so far, it’s been fairly easy. We thought that it was going to be a bear with it beginning in the middle of July this year. But all in all, it’s been fine. I guess that with the heatwave hitting in June, we’ve grown accustomed to not sleeping until around 4 or 5 in the morning because it’s too hot. And then we get up around noon. I had someone remark to me that we aren’t “really fasting” if we sleep all day…but we aren’t “sleeping all day.”  We’re actually sleeping less. And
we aren’t “eating all night.” We eat at sunset (around 7 pm) and then again around 2:30 am so that we have something in our bellies before we sleep. The really hard part for the kids is water. And so as soon as the call to prayer at sunset goes off, they start walking around the house with a 1.5 liter water bottle in their hands and drink and refill and drink refill.

For me, the hard part as usual is the coffee. I am admittedly a coffee addict. And before anyone starts with the whole “you could start drinking decaf and eliminate caffeine completely” ideas or offering of 12-step programs (is there one for caffeine addiction?) I LIKE MY DRUG OF CHOICE. You have no  idea what it’s like. I’m raising five kids in a foreign country with my husband working overseas and I am doing this stone-cold sober and without the assistance of SSRI’s. Look. When I got pregnant with the first one 17+ years ago, I stopped smoking. I stopped drinking. (This made becoming a Muslim easy later.)  I cut back on coffee to only 2 cups a day while pregnant and 3 cups a day while nursing. (Damn. That kind of explains the ADD issues, doesn’t it? Oh well.)
So, here’s the truth that I tell my kids:  I drink coffee for YOUR protection! I do. It’s true. I don’t think that they ever believed that until today. I usually serve several types of juice at breakfast before I hand out plates. They get their choice of carob juice, tamarind juice, mango juice or Tang. Then they can switch it up and have another type. Whatever. The important thing is that they get that blood sugar up after fasting all day and juice is the quickest way to do that. Then we eat. While I’m serving plates, I’m usually making a cup of coffee at the same time. I drink coffee WITH my breakfast. Only tonight, the milk was disgustingly chunky…..so I dumped the cup down the sink after a swig. And then….OMG, is it possible?…..I forgot to make another cup.
I finished eating and then a little while later announced that I was going to nap for about an hour. I awoke three hours later with a throbbing headache from hell and feeling panicky and sick. I didn’t even get off the bed. I handed my purse to the youngest and told him to go buy me a liter of milk ASAP. The oldest came in to check on me and I told him to go make me a cup of coffee. I’m on my third cup now and no longer resemble the pulsating swollen bruise on Tom’s head after Jerry smacks him with a hammer.
So, you may ask, am I ready to give up my last addiction? NEVER!
But I am ready to make sure that we have fresh milk in the house before sunset!
(By the way, all of the above images are courtesy of user uploads to Photobucket.com and are not my own personal property.)

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