….Don’t do it! Don’t read this. It’s scary.
My mind is a jumble of crazy and bonfires. Crazy: Randa can’t tell the difference between Summer and Forever. So she thinks that she has killed her high school. Not the people. Just the school. Because autistic sense of time sometimes parallels that of a 4 year old, a period of more than 5 days can equal forever. And she needs the scheduled lifestyle that I, in my world of “pile-filing,” cannot seem to provide her. She’s a smart one. She knows that she only takes her ADHD meds on school days. So she DUMPED. THE. WHOLE. BOTTLE. INTO. THE. TRASH…..on top of the wet coffee grounds and all I could do was cry as the capsules had already started to dissolve by the time I found them. $350.00 just G.O.N.E.
Bonfires: I am perimenopausal. Oh, yeah. Hot flashes and weepy and sweating like a whore in church with a 10 dollar trick outside.
It’s not like working out sweat, or nervous sweat, or standing over a hot stove hot. It’s like AFRICA HOT….INSIDE MY HEAD….where some idiot must have turned the heat up full blast, after starting a forest fire, surrounding a charcoal fire with too much lighter fluid and then dressed my insides up in wool Army blankets and cranked up the rain forest (or North Texas) humidity before TELLING MY HUSBAND TO LOSE HIS MIND AND TURN OFF THE AIR CONDITIONING!!!! (True story.)
I am in need of another shower 2 hours after getting out of one because he wanted to open the windows to air out the house…and then FORGOT TO OPEN THE WINDOWS.
So add my hormonal roller coaster, dripping sweat, frantic anxiety attack over soggy ADHD meds that I cannot afford to replace, with Randa’s guilt-ridden anxiety attacks because she thinks that she wished her school closed forever that is manifesting itself in screaming fits and destruction of DVDs, her siblings posters and now the stack of weekend coupons I’ve yet to go through………..along with the other hormonal issues going on in this house (all 5 of our kids are pubescent teenagers AT. THE. SAME. TIME) and………..
you’ll understand why you should just cruise on to the next blog and not read this one. Ooops. Too late.