Things Not Found in Everyone’s Kitchen

Barely one and a half cups of coffee in at 6:35 in the morning, I had just put the first three kids on their school buses and was on my way through the kitchen to the boys room to wake the fourth and fifth to catch theirs. Of course, as I am prone to do since their room is on the other side of the laundry room, I stopped to start a load of darks first. Having touched smelly sweat socks, I returned to the kitchen to wash my hands before waking my son, and that’s when I noticed it on the back of the sink:  Toenail clippers.

REALLY?!  Toenail Clippers?  In MY kitchen on the little shelf on the back of the sink?  Ewwwwwwwwwwww. And WHO put it there? Because I’m having a really hard time believing that a single one of my five teenagers could have done this since they will go into the kitchen following dinner to get a drink but, for fear of their hands falling off the ends of their arms, will NOT repeat NOT carry their empty plates with them!

Honestly, it is not the most bizarre item found in my kitchen in the last twenty years. But it’s up there in the top five. Once while we were living in Egypt, I awoke early and stumbled to the kitchen counter where my instant coffee was (IT WAS HARD TO FIND GROUND COFFEE AND MY GRINDER WAS BROKEN. DON’T JUDGE ME!!!) and as I opened the jar by rote, I was gagged by the smell that came out of the jar! It was not the Nescafe that I’d grabbed. It was the jar of caterpillars thrown in on top of arugula leaves and sugar peas that one of the boys was saving for his science teacher. He had forgotten to poke holes in the top of the jar so basically I’d opened up an insect death camp that had been placed near my caffeine fix.

There have also been weirder items like the luggage rack to a taxi we once owned, but that was their father that put that there. Anyway, I’m planning on taking my kitchen back sometime today…..maybe.

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