Very Safe Places

I have several “very safe places” to hide things from the kids who tear things up or use important papers to sop up spilled coffee or for scratch paper for Algebra II homework. Is it in the lockable filing cabinet drawer? NOOOOOO! That would be too easy. Also, not safe exactly from the kid who likes to tear papers when she is pissed off because she knows that the key to said drawer is on my key ring right between the car key and the tiny little key that I can’t remember what it goes to but I’m keeping it because as soon as I throw it away or make it into a wind chime I’ll find the lock and will have no key for it.

So earlier in the month, I obeyed the new law and applied for healthcare and, as I already knew was going to happen, found out we didn’t qualify for the discounted health insurance because we make TOO LITTLE MONEY.  Yes, that is correct. It doesn’t make sense, at first. Then you say, “AHHHH, that’s okay because they’ll qualify for the Medicaid expansion and still have coverage.” But then that’s when I raise my hand and yell, “OH! OOH! MR KOTTER!” like Arnold Horshack and tell you that that’s the SECOND thing that doesn’t make sense. The state of Texas has chosen not to offer us this new health care coverage at this time. So do you remember when the Affordable Care Act was being discussed and debated ad nauseum on the radio and tv news stations and they kept mentioning how many of the red states were going to have low income people “falling through the cracks?” (****See big red neon arrow pointing at my head) That would be me. I’m in “the CRACK of Texas.”

So, because I obeyed the law and applied for coverage, we are not going to be penalized for not being able to afford or have access to health insurance because they sent us exemption codes to plug into our 2014 Tax Return. Of course, when it arrived in the mail, I KNEW it was vital that I not lose this or I’d be screwed come tax time, so I put it in a “very safe place.”
All the W-2s, 1098s, 1099s, etc all came in the mail. I dutifully picked up a new TurboTax program and finally picked up the replacement cartridge for my stupid printer that has mocked me from its place in the corner of my office for several months, knowing how much I resent the whole “you got me cheap on sale but you have to spend a fortune to keep me running” game. My husband was all happy thinking about our refund check coming just as soon as I hit the “submit” key.  And then I remembered the exemption codes and how that would totally screw with our refund since 3 of us in this household fall under that exemption category.

I played the “HOLY CRAP! WHERE DID I PUT IT?” game for three days. It was not in my desk. It was not in the locking file cabinet. It was not piled in my stacks of shit “to go through” that can include anything from report cards and IEPs to coupons and those stupid ads for cracked foundation repair that someone keeps taping to my crookedly hanging front door!  It was not on my night table or in the “to shred” bag that I keep meaning to take over to my sister’s house because I’m too cheap to buy a shredder. It was not in the bottom of my BLACK HOLE with a shoulder strap (aka “my purse.”)

TODAY I found it. I actually took the time to sort through the file drawer of my desk, one folder at a time. And you know what? I located it in the one that said, “Banking and Tax Documents.”

Huh. Go figure.

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