My Best Parenting Tool

I think I’ve lost my mind. Okay, not really. But since my oldest graduated from high school this past Saturday (HOLLA!) I have been unable to focus on anything. It’s not because of stress like before. It’s because I’m not stressed anymore. Without stress, I kind of don’t know what to do with myself.

Oh….and the graduation wasn’t the only stress-release. My dad and stepmom took two of our five teenagers back home with them for a few weeks. As in 9 hour drive from here “back home.”  As in “Damn, it’s quiet around here….too quiet.”

I feel like I’m missing some appointment or behind on a bill….(well, THAT’s probably true) ….. but you know, that nagging “what am I forgetting” feeling. But honestly, the only thing I’m missing right now is stress. And for lack of a better way to say it, I am missing it?  

Have I lost my so-called mind? No. I’m just so used to having stress that it’s become an intricate part of my life….in fact, I have actually TURNED DOWN free massages…on three different occasions…..because I’ve always been afraid that some talented masseuse would rub the stress right out of me and I’d have lost the best parenting tool I’ve got in my toolbox! No, REALLY.
I know that most of my friends who have teenagers swear that WINE is their best parenting tool. But I think that panic attacks and perpetually clenched butt cheeks trumps wine any day. Ever try to come up with witty retorts to your teen with the right balance of sarcasm, serious business, and a hint of guilt after knocking back 3 glasses of Pinot Noir? It may sound good in your head and maybe even out loud, but your point will be so much better made when your delivery includes uptight high-pitched nasally tones and your eyes glaring rather than glazing.

I’m just lost without my stress factor. I’m thinking of signing up for a Zumba class AND an ASL class within 15 minutes of each other on the same day of the week but at cross town locations. THAT ought to get me worked up again. Maybe by the time the boys get back from their granddad’s place, I’ll have my groove back.

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