Getting Started Is Not As Easy As I Recall

In an effort to assist my son in getting his first real job (read: In an effort to take over my son’s life and push him into employment quickly,) I decided to sit down and type up a resume for him. I got stuck just after his name and address. While the email address he
came up with back when he was 14 or 15 years old was funny then, it just doesn’t have the
same professional sound when a potential boss is replying to “DonutDude@freesite.com.”
So I set up a new account for him first. I went back to the resume template and got as far
as job history. How do you beef up a resume for your first real job? I guess you can’t.

Then I started thinking about my own resume. Now that the kids are all ambulatory, know
how to cook for themselves, and don’t need help in the bathroom, I’ve been seriously thinking of going back to work. But the gap in my own resume will be 15 years of no employment. A lot has changed since I was working full time. How do I explain all the years of experience and personal challenges that I’ve amassed over my time as a stay-at-home-mom is actually a plus for any company?

I’m not sure that employers actually realize that negotiating with a bill collector on the phone, while breaking up a fight between two teenagers with the “evil eye of death,” making a grilled cheese sandwich and putting away dishes all at once, is the epitome of “multi-tasking.” I’ve braved the halls of midnight feedings, teething screams, potty training, prepubescent funky smells, “the talk,” running a household better than any CEO can run a corporation, and all on a much smaller budget with coupons at the ready. I’m nothing, if  not efficient and my ability to delegate authority is unmatched. (GO DO THE DISHES NOW!) I am able to coordinate my efforts with those of government agencies.
(Parent-teacher conferences are a breeze.) And I maintain an approval rating that surpasses any elected official on any given day. (I control allowances and meals.)

Pffft. I am a writer. I can make ANYTHING sound professional and honestly, the experiences that I have can be put into use in any situation with any position. Any employer would be fortunate to have me as an employee. I got this.

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