So, the solar eclipse of 2017 here in North Texas sort of resembled a greenish-brown pre-tornado overcast sky. I was not impressed. Of course, I would have been had I lived in Oregon. But you know. I don’t. I live near Six Flags and Globe Life Park where the Texas Rangers play…oh, and that stupid-looking stadium that looks like the Dallas Cowboy’s Gargantuan White Nipple that can be seen on the horizon from 12-miles away.
The coolest thing about today has NOTHING to do with making solar glasses out of cereal boxes. MY HIGH SCHOOLERS WENT BACK TO SCHOOL TODAY!!! I’m enjoying the quiet of my 3 college-age kids and my husband. I caught up on laundry, made my bed, downloaded some apps onto my computer and took care of some health care stuff online for several of us. This is HUGE, y’all. I was only interrupted once to help my husband trim his beard…and then he decided to just shave it all off so I was dismissed back to my solitude of peace, with no having to break up fights about whose turn it is to play on the laptop. WOOOOHOOOOO!
The first day of school should literally be an International Holiday. And all mom’s who show up at any diner or coffee shop or convenience store with a stupid grin and looking slightly frazzled from getting those students off to school on that first day, should receive a big cup of coffee, tea, or whatever they want for free.
I’m going to live it up for the next hour before they lumber off the bus and raise the decibel levels up in here. It’s party time.
Rotator cuff is screaming at me and has been since January that it is being overused. I tried taking it to the doctor and all she prescribed was NSAIDs and ordered an x-ray which didn’t show any bone issues. I took it back in April and said, “Hey, this thing is worse.” She sent me to physical therapy. I did the prescribed exercises for a week regularly. Then for two weeks irregularly. And then I got busy. And now my rotator cuff is threatening to just go on strike or worse.
The plantar fascia in my left foot has been quiet lately. I’m pretty sure that it and the diminished cartilage in my big toe have been waiting for a surprise attack once ole rotator cuff chills out. Stupid arthritis has been just gnawing on that cartilage all this time without any problems thanks to your brain only being able to recognize one severe pain at a time while drowning out the sounds of the others.
Through all of this, my eyes and skin continue to dry out regardless of the copious amounts of water that I drink daily. And you’d think with all this stinkin’ sweat that is pouring out of me day and night, regardless of clothing, air-conditioning, or temperature outside, that I’d obviously have some sort of moisture in my body. (Aside from the urine that escapes with every step, sneeze, cough, laugh, or wrong move.) Yeah, not so. Menopause is just life’s way of backing that dump truck over a woman following mowing her down the first time during menstruation and childbirth.
I always heard that aging is not for the faint of heart. I can attest to this. But as good as I’ve been to my body over the years, I find this treasonous blitz the last two years to be a huge betrayal. After all of the exercise and good foods and even those cheesecake treats I’ve given it, that it could just turn on me and cause me constant agony makes me sad. But what does one do? Aging is NOT for the faint of heart. And I guess it beats the alternative.
SAHMs are constant list-writers, for the most part. We have lists of things to do, things to buy, whose turn it is to do the dishes and who is grounded from computer and for how long. Sometimes my life is so jam-packed with activity, responsibility, items we’ve run out of, that I have to include things that ordinary people never forget, like eating or pooping. Yes. My to-do list will actually have -go poop written on it most days. I’ve given up adding the more decadent activities to my to-do list. I now write “shave legs” and “wax mustache” to my bucket list with the hopes of experiencing these things at least once more in my life time before I kick that damn bucket which seems to be further out of sight daily. If I could remember to refill and actually take my cholesterol medicine, I may never have to put ” -go poop” on my to-do list ever again. That job will be “to-done” before I finish my first cup of coffee.
So, today I’ve added the following to my B.B.T.D.L. (that’s Big Bad To-Do List): three official emails to write, copies of one child’s entire medical history to be made, pick up oldest kid’s school records and copy, and find a cyber-cafe with a working printer so that I can print off my absentee ballot and get that thing in the mail. All of these in addition to the usual grocery shop, cook, clean, break up fights, hang clothes, break up more fights, pull hairball out of bathroom pipe, break up fights, pay whatever unexpected bill collector that shows up at the door, break up fights, make dinner, pry the remote control out of teasing 11 yr old’s hand and break up fights.
Oh. Emergency to-do list interruption, “Mom, I need to go to the dentist. I have a big, huge cavity and it hurts to breathe.” *sigh*
I was standing in the kitchen making my awesome Chicken and Vegetable Pasta with Bashamel Sauce today when a rare breeze blew through the windows. I felt something touching the back of my leg just above my ankles. Fearing it was a red ant (our kitchen is FULL of them this summer), I immediately dropped my spoon and started smacking the back of my legs. Nothing there. “That’s odd,” I thought. I wasn’t sweating. So it wasn’t a drop of sweat rolling down where you aren’t sure if it’s sweat or a bug. So I went back to finishing dinner. Another breeze blew through the windows and I felt it again…only this time it was more like a tickling sensation. I checked behind me to see if Ismail or Hamo were playing tricks on me with a dry paintbrush. Nope. I was all alone in the kitchen. That’s when I noticed. HOLY RAZOR BLADES, BATMAN! How long had it been since I mowed those things? I mean, shaving my legs is always one of the last things on my list of stuff to do, ESPECIALLY when my husband is working overseas. But DAMN! I could probably french braid these puppies. So, my list of stuff to do has one more job on it. Oh yay. Now I need to make sure I’ve got at least 2 new razors, just in case one breaks during the pending hackfest. I don’t think we own a machete. We live in the city, for crying outloud. I may have to wait until the kids go to sleep tonight. This looks like a 2-hour job. I know, I know. TMI. But what’s a girl to do? I’m really busy and I don’t have my man around right now to ask me why I’m wearing legwarmers to bed in August to remind me to shave my legs. I got the kids fed. What more do ya want from me? So, I look a little “Sasquatch-y”. It could be worse. At least I remember to bathe!
((*I originally wrote this back in August 2009. But I suddenly developed writer’s block when I sat down to write and figured I’d just share one from the archives. But honestly, I chose it because my daughter rubbed her hand against my leg and said, “Ouch!” So, of course I laughed and thought of this post.))